Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

Mary Schmich's "Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young" was published in the  Chicago Tribune as a column on June 1, 1997. In her introduction to the column, she described it as the commencement address she would give if she were asked to give one.

The song was subsequently released as a single (with the opening words changed to "Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99"). by Baz Luhrmann, narrated by Australian voice actor Lee Perry.

(words below the video, which is supposed to be the original)

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

Yes, SWC is still here lol

This poor ol' neglected group.
Sitting lost and forgotten by me, faithfully waiting.

I was thinking that, while we are stuck with the name Sidewalk Cafe, maybe it needs to go in a bit different direction. Having a place to just sit and relax and get away from all the design queries and the hussle and bussle of Multiply itself didn't really seem to take off.

I had invited four people here, and three are left. Four including me :D

And I'm still not willing to just open it up to the masses, but what if we all invited a couple friends each and go from there? I have a couple more contacts in mind that I am considering inviting, but I don't want all the members here be from my list. Know what I mean? I don't need a group to reach out and gently touch you ... your lives that is (lol)

That last blog I did .. Scattergories ... didn't go too badly, so maybe something like word games could be added, sort of thing.

And maybe whatever else you can think of that might put life into this poor ol' group.
Maybe copy a very special email that you received and would like to share here. A special story. An event in your day. A funny one. Your dog/cat's antics. Whatever. Anything to make this group feel wanted and loved. lol

It doesn't have to be as busy as some of those other groups are. I wouldn't want to have to give up my day job (hahahaha) and I do like the luxuries in life like sleeping !! hahaha

But maybe the three of you might feel more comfortable coming here and posting things if you had a contact or two from your own special list of friends (to start off with anyways .. maybe more .. what do you think?).  And that's if you see this in your 4.0 inbox. Maybe you've forgotten all about it too ??

But while I'm out in the bus this afternoon, I'll put my feet up, glass of wine in hand, and ponder what else I can throw at you here. And please, won't you do the same?

*hugssssssssss* to the three of you :)

On a need to know basis ....

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BUT PROBABLY DON'T:

1 . Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.. (probably why it goes thru the washer so well)

2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana) paper. (and someone hasn't smoked it yet?)

3. The dot over the letter I is called a "tittle". (go figure, it's not a dot - looks like a dot to me)

4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top. (one very happy raisin?)

5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller. (this I knew but still cool)

6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals. (this blows me away)

7. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled. (the editing staff needs edumacating in this area?)

8. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He was albino.

9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily. (always thought I was the oddball in the family .. now I know why)

10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister. (cool also)

11. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog. (and no matter how much the guy begs, I'm not sharing! oh sorry, wrong dog hahaha)

12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode. (can you say messy?)

13. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww). (and people wonder why I don't wear the stuff .... ewwww is right)

14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants. (not that he shows anything but his tail feathers hahaha)

15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine. (with french fries as a chaser?)

16. Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the 'upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters. (would put a new twist on printing and typing if it had been reversed)

17. Leonardo DA Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time (hence, multi-tasking was invented.)

18. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood. (hmmm termite food?)

19. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos. (nobody would hear the cuckoo anyways)

20. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was never a recorded Wendy before! (so who was the girl that got away then?)

21. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver! (not that would mean anything or make sense anyways ... I mean seriously, what's a lurple?)

22. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips. (it was the fish scales that made her run off - no color inspiration for him)

23. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death. (I know what you're thinking, and I"ll tell ya right now it won't work with me hahaha)

24. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was a Captain Kirk's mask painted white. (I knew Kirk scared me for a reason)

25. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19 You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar (good to know.)

26. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand (and you thought this list was completely useless.)

27. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb. (was legal to abuse the poor woman? - and men wonder why the feminist movement happened)

28. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola. (hmmmm gotta watch the bumps on the road)

29. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same with apples! (oh yeah? bring on the peanut butter!!! hahaha)

30. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying! ( I know another way to keep me from crying ... don't go near the onions)

31. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.. (shalom)

32. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries. (awww the book itself has a record)

33. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages it. (besides, be nasty when they got back home and stripped - I know, groan all ya want haha)

34. George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart .. "Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she's behind bars. O. J. Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the ONE woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and they haul her fanny off to jail." (with that logic, I can't argue with George)

I know, heck of a way to make an appearance isn't it?? lol

*waves foolishly at everyone*

Billy ... Part III

I don't remember too much happening during his second year of being with us. Well, there were some things, but not really pertaining to him, himself. Part of that 'nother story I mentioned once or twice in the previous blogs lol.

Mom met and made friends with a lady that lived upstairs in the apartment building that had twin boys that were just 12 days younger than Billy and we spent a lot of time outside in the evenings with them. The boys playing, moms chatting lol. And yes, they were watched constantly. They didn't get too far away and didn't get away with much hahaha.

Ohh, I forgot to mention that when Billy was born, we lived in Brampton (not too far from Pearson Int'l Airport - west end of Toronto) and had moved to Scarborough (the east end of Toronto) when he was about 16 months old, into a 20 story building, and that's where we met the lady with the twin boys.

Anyways ...

I wasn't overly fond of travelling from one end of Toronto to the other end just to see the family doctor when I wasn't feeling well or Billy wasn't. It took public transit buses and subways, and eventually a 'GO' bus to get there. Other than when one made the trip out there to see the doc, one went around the corner and visited with the inlaws and get your hubby to pick you up there when he finished work :D

So, with a recommendation from your husband's aunt, you make an appointment and introduce yourself to a local doctor. Go a few times to see how he is, whether you are comfortable with him etc. Started off with it being just me and I would go for the little things. He seemed ok and had even discussed Billy with him, including the pregnancy and such.

So along comes Billy's third birthday and time for a check up. We bundle up and armed with change for the transit system, off we go to the west end to see that family doctor.  (I tell you, that local doc in the east end was looking better all the time lol) It would take us two hours to get there for what? a 15 minute visit while Billy got weighed and listened to etc? Ick.

But it was at that visit when I again voiced my concern about Billy's lack of vocalizing/forming words still. I mean, he was turning 3 after all and still hadn't come out with a 'mom' or a 'dad' or anything else. Sure, he made noises with his throat. He wasn't a total mute or anything. Just the lack of forming words.

And what did that doctor say??

"He'll talk when he's ready"

Well? I was very very miffed, to put it midly lol. That diagnosis just wasn't good enough anymore. Get me for my naivete before but now that he's three?? Think I went off on the doctor that day, but nothing like the dressing down I gave a doctor I didn't know a few years later lol. The diaper thing 'hes not ready' maybe I could accept but not the non-talking thing yet. Not even a mom and he's not ready? I don't be thinking so buddy. Dressed my kid and left that day. I never ever went back to that fool.

I called the office of the doctor I had been starting to see out the east end (where we lived) that day and asked if he would take on my son as a patient. Went to the appointment made a couple days later. Filled out a form for all my sons doctor records from that other place to be transferred, and proceeded to tell him everything, right up to what the doctor out the west end said when I asked about Billy not talking yet at the age of 3.

Know what that one did??

Got on the phone right away to Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto and made appointments with a few doctors down there for Billy to be checked and assessed. (that old referral nonsense) It took many trips and a few different doctors to find out what we needed to know. We saw the dental department a couple times. The Ear, Nose, Throat surgeon many times (he diagnosed the ear drainage problem and put the tubes in his ears). A pediatrition and her team for a few hours while they had Billy do this, that, and the other to better form their assessment. And I forget who else. All I know is that it took about 6 months to see everybody we needed to see and find out what's what.

The pediatrition and her team basically said that Billy will always have a learning problem. He doesn't process information the way he should for his age. He should have been at least saying mom and dad by now, if not a few other words. His immaturity at the way he walks up and down the stairs is very telling, much like a child of 14 months would do it, after having just learned to walk on his own. He couldn't do simple things that a child of two would be able to do.  At the end of it all, she couldn't offer a specific diagnosis but said that if he were to be 'labelled' mentally retarded, then he could get into the special school programs and get the help he needs to help him get through life and teach him what they can. (my husband stormed out of the place when she said that and never went to another appointment anywhere with us again .. ever)

Well? For a young mom of 27, that had never been exposed to anybody even similar to what her son would grow up as, that was a lot to take in and I probably went home in a bit of a fog that day. Someone asked me not too much after that about why I didn't put Billy into a home that day and I was horrified at the question. It never ever occured to me to do that. He was my son, plus God gave him to me for a reason and I sure wasn't going to shirk my duty to my son by just tossing him away like yesterday's garbage just because he might be defective. geeeeeeezzzzzzz

Then came the various speech therapists over the years at different ages, to see if there was anything they could do or suggest to help him form at least some words. While none of them came up with a specific reason for his inability to talk, one did eventually call it Apraxia, where the signal from the brain doesn't reach the mouth. She said he could talk otherwise, if not for that broken signal.

Billy started 'school' when he was only three and a half. A half day program, every day Monday thru Friday, September to June. They had all the learning toys and such to get him started on 'life skills' that he would need later on. And they tried to help us help him to learn to live without the diaper. (he was four and a half when he finally ditched it yayyyyy)

And he was about four and a half when the doctor in the east end sent us to a Pediatric Neurologist for assessment. I couldn't tell you now what all she did that day and the only thing she told me was that Billy didn't have Muscular Dystrophy. Her report would go to our family doctor and we would discuss the diagnosis with him. (All that red tape crap with referrals and such. She wasn't allowed to tell us outright)

So our doctor said he will always be a special needs child and hard to say at this point whether he would actually catch up to his age enough to hold down a full time job, his own place, etc. Would take a lot of work and education just to help him get through life.

But what neither one of us (myself, the doctor) realized was that he hadn't specifically said what the diagnosis was. So, applications for funding or getting certain services provided for a child like Billy always had the diagnosis part filled in as 'unknown/special needs'. I could never figure out why we weren't getting these things to help Billy. We kept getting turned down or put on an endless waiting list. Just never occured to me.

And it was a specific agency and a specific form that only the doctor could fill out when Billy turned ten, where he put down 'Cerebral Palsy' in the diagnosis part that shone some light on things. Still had trouble getting services from specific agencies designed to help kids/people like Billy after that but at least we finally knew. And when we applied for funding that you could only get once he turned 18, and again the doctor (same one) had to fill out the forms, in the diagnosis field of the form he put 'Cerebral Palsy/Autism (?)' that really helped things finally move along for him. We now have two agencies involved with access to small funds for things such as a mediator etc. (A mediator takes the child/adult out into the community for a couple hours a week and familiarizes the child/adult with things ... public transit etc too) And I tell you, it is a big relief to not have to do it all on my own anymore. Not that I begrudged doing it, is nice to have help too. 

Billy has been seen by Physical Therapists, Occupational Therapists, Speech Therapists a few times at different ages, to see if there is any maturity development in his brain that might warrant seeing these therapists on a regular basis. After doing their testing each time, the felt that his brain hadn't matured enough to warrant their continuation with him. So I would get a copy of their report on what they tried what they didn't and try to work with him at home anyways. Even a very slight possiblity was better than none at all right?

The life skills programs in the schools allowed him to attend school until the age of 21, which he 'graduated' from school four months after his birthday. The poor kid went to school, September to June, for eighteen years. It really helped that he absolutely adored school. Summers off were just too long and too boring lol.

He's had a moustache and beard since the facial fuzz started to grow. He really hated that mom was shaving off the peach fuzz at first. He would fight it, but even with mom telling him that you have to shave off the peach fuzz to get the real stuff to grow in, it still took signs of the 'real stuff' to start showing before he stopped fighting it so much. But once it did, there was no way he was going to settle for being bare faced ever again lol. Even trimming it up to look neat can be a chore some days now lol. He ended up being the only kid at the graduation ceremonies for all graduates that year that had a beard full time for many years lol. If I remember correctly, he was the only one with a beard that night too.  And yeah, his dad hates it but I wouldn't let him shave Billy again after he shaved the poor kid clean one night before he was finished school. Hey, I figured it's his face and his choice. At least he lets me keep it trimmed.

He's never needed special medication to control behavior or anything like other special needs kids/adults we come across while volunteering for the Special Olympics, so I consider us very lucky. He rarely gets sick, but when he does, he does a good job of it lol. Is the only time he willingly stays in bed for a whole day. And when he's not up and moving/pacing/playing, you know he's not feeling well. (no, he's not hyperactive .. just a lot of energy) A flu bug that might wipe you or I out and on our backs for a few days would have him up and back to normal within a couple days, so he seems to recover quickly. Other than colds. Him catching a cold is cause for him to miss a few days of school until the cold medicine kicks in. And now that he's involved in a life skills program as a young adult couple days a week, a cold will keep him away from there. And not just because he has trouble with hygene when it comes to his cold. Don't really want to spread it around the others. Some have more problems with life than he does.


**********************************
For Snow, Sue, Cal, and Dave *hugssssssssss*
Unfortunately, there is a part IV in the works lol

And for those that missed parts I and II (and you know who you are lol) ...
http://www.wolvesandrainbows.multiply.com/journal/item/223
http://www.wolvesandrainbows.multiply.com/journal/item/224

Billy ... part II

While Billy was in the hospital, having just been born, his blood test showed he was low on iron (gee thanks mom lol) so they gave him formula with extra iron added. They didn't take him off that formula soon enough and he developed a problem, but was easily fixed by giving him regular stuff to drink (thank goodness) He lost a bit of weight, which was normal. Dropped down to 7 lbs 10 ozs and gained two ounces back before he was released.

But as it turned out, he was actually 'released' from the hospital before I was. I developed an infection in my c/section (bikini, thank you lol), so they kept me longer to make sure the antibiotics were clearing it up.

Then the day came that we both got to go home. Yayyyyyyyy lol

Now being a new baby and a first grandchild for both sides of the family, there must have been a gazillion pictures taken of him that first year.
You know the ones ...

Grandpa B holding him and feeding him with that special nipple, milk coming out of Billy's nose (yep, my dad tilted him back too much .. sit him more upright Grandpa lol)

Grandma B's look of horror at the milk coming out of Billy's nose and giving Grandpa 'what for' (but she wouldn't feed him .. too nervous)

Billy doing the skinny dip thing in the baby pool on a back porch.

Sitting ... crawling at appropriate stages.

Walking around the furniture but not on his own yet at a year.

Making cooing noises but no real attempts to form words like 'mom' or 'dada' yet.

Mothers Day, Easter, Christmas, first birthday and covered in cake were causes for that camera to be at the ready and flashing lol

Billy's surgery went well (we were told) to repair his cleft pallate but mom and dad sure weren't prepared for what he looked like when he came out of surgery. Poor kid looked like he got whacked with a baseball bat! And in an oxygen tent. He was miserable being stuck in the hospital. I was miserable having to leave him there. His dad couldn't stand being there for hours. Yep, a great time indeed :(

Billy had to wear a special shirt that had tongue depressers in the sleeves so he couldn't bend his arms at the elbow and stick things in his mouth, and he'd have to wear it for 6 weeks.

What they did, because the hole in the roof of his mouth was only about the size of a quarter and was where his uvula (that funny thing hanging down at the back of your mouth) should have been, they took layers of skin from other parts of the roof of his mouth and covered the hole (it would thicken and grow as he grew) and even took some of that skin and made him an uvula.

The staff thought he'd only have to be there about 4 days, but he ended up being in there for over a week. Yep, that poor kid, having to deal with having his mouth operated on and not understanding why, he caught the flu while in there. He looked awful, was miserable, and I'm sure he felt a bit abandoned when mom and dad left each day. ('nother story)

When he finally got better and got to come home, he had to wear that tongue depresser shirt 24/7 until we saw the surgeon and he gave the ok that the roof of his mouth healed up nicely, which was about 5 weeks later.

But we developed another problem when we sprung him from the hospital. Billy never had the suction to keep a soother in his face for long anyways so we didn't have to wean him off that thing, but at the age of just a year, Billy had inadvertently been weaned off the bottle. He refused it and I could only guess that the lambs nipple rubbed the tender spot on the roof of his mouth. Didn't do well with a regular cup, even with help. He wore a whole lot more than he drank as he would push the cup away from him. And anything else we tried, he refused it. Not good. He needed to get liquid into him. Eating was almost just as bad. Ended up trying baby food again, as it's soft and doesn't need any work. Seemed to help a bit, but he lost a little bit of weight anyways.

I don't know about other places, but where we lived, certain plastic dishes and cups weren't available in the stores just yet. So it was by a bit of fretting and ranting to a friend and she gave me one of the  'sippy cups' that her son had used. At the time, we could only get things like that through home parties. Billy fought it for a bit, but soon realized that he didn't have to work to get the liquid to come out of the funny mouth piece and we were finally in business! woohoo The apple juice must have tasted soooooooo good that day lol

He got a clean bill of health and the nasty shirt he wasn't overly happy with finally got lost before we left the doctors office hahaha.

Oh, we ended up going down to Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto several times over a course of about 5 years. When his teeth finally all came in and the dental department took x-rays and said if he ever needed braces, they wouldn't have to pull 4 particular teeth as they never developed roots to even make a showing later on in life. He had to have tubes put in his ears several times over the span of a few years as they didn't drain properly and caused infections.

But all in all, he was healthy and happy and smiling since the day he was born. The only kid I knew that you could wake up from a sound sleep and he would smile at you. And he would sleep anywhere. Prop some pillows around him so he wouldn't fall off the bed/couch, so he was never cranky from not getting a nap. The 'terrible twos' didn't show up. No temper tantrums or anything like that. Sure, he would cry first thing in the morning because he was wet and hungry and mom was too busy sleeping to hear him when he first stirred lol But I did considered myself very lucky indeed with the baby/tot he was. Always counted my blessings.

He was 19 months old when he finally abandoned hanging on to the furniture to get around (or crawl between 'em). He had only been walking from the couch to the coffee table a couple days when he tripped and smacked his nose on the coffee table. I couldn't grab him fast enough, even though I was right there. He didn't break it, but he was left with a life long scar on the upper bridge of his nose. And he still wasn't attempting to form words yet. When the family doctor was asked about both, he just said 'he will when he's ready'. And I had heard that from other people, that some babies will walk and talk a little bit later than others. So even while I had started to be concerned, I wasn't at the same time, if that makes any sense lol. Considering what he went through in the 9 months before he was born, the surgery at a year old, to me it wasn't surprising that he might not be ready just yet.

I'm sure his second birthday would be considered a raging success as he had chocolate cake in his hair, in his ears, up his nose because he missed his mouth, on the floor, all over him and even down the front of his diaper hahaha. (And I sit here and wish they had digital camera's back then. lol) But one carried him very carefully from his high chair to the bath afterwards hahaha.

************
I'm sure I left things out in this one and the last one, trying to remember everything, setting it up for the main introduction of Billy. (yes, that means there will be a part three .. sorry) If it comes to me, something important, I'll mention it in the next part.
***********
For Snow, Sue, Dave, and Cal with *hugsssssssssss*
Thank you for putting up with me lol

Please allow me to introduce ....

my son Billy, to you.

Oh where shall I start? From the beginning?

*Noooooooooo not that far back!* you are thinking. *T.M.I.!!* hahaha

No, I won't go quite that far back. But I do have to go back to one point in the pregnancy, because what happened is part of what helped make him the son he is.

When I was in my third month of pregnancy, I got really sick. And I mean SICK!

Imagine yourself losing 40 pounds in 30 days. How sick would you have to be to accomplish that?

Yeah. I was that sick. The only thing I ate that month and had it half-assed stay down was a jar of baby dill pickles, that I polished off in a week, early on that July. Sure, I did the craving thing when whatever hit me hadn't hit me that hard just yet. Had to have those baby dill pickles. And they were sooooooooo good and went down sooooooooooo nicely lol And they were all mine !! I wouldn't share them, not even with my husband of not quite two years hahaha.

Ever since I was a teen, whenever my tummy got the butterfly thing going on first thing in the morning, the only thing to help settle it was a cup of tea. With milk and a bit of sugar thank you. But that month? It was my enemy. Probably the milk, but I don't like tea without milk in it. I would drink apple juice, non-cola pop, cola pop, gingerale .. anything to try and keep something in my tummy, or at worst, something besides stomache acid when it came back up. By the end of the month, I was drinking Kool-Aid for the sugar, to keep whatever energy and strength I had left, which wasn't much.

I went to the hospital emerg room three times that month. First time because I was spitting up blood .... my throat was raw and irritated. The second time, they gave me an IV of saline solution and sent me home. The third time, they kept me a week and then sent me home when they needed the bed. But nobody could figure out why I was so sick. Not even the family doctor took it seriously. Never mind I was losing weight at an alarming rate. Would just be told to 'eat'. Kind of a waste of time to eat when anything came back up just as fast.

I was so weak and even with all the stuff I was drinking and hoping it would stay down, I was becoming dehydrated. My husband would come home from work, run my bath water, help me get in, help wash my hair and rinse it, and then almost have to stand inside the tub to help me get back out. I had almost nothing left to help myself.

The family doctor had his office on the second floor of a 3 story building and no elevator. So I almost had to be carried up the stairs to see him.

And yet, the only ones I could convince how sick I was, was my husband and his family. Not the doctors at emerg. Not my family. Was going to say something about my mother's opinion just then, but that's a whole 'nother story lol.

Let's just say, I came thisclose to losing the baby I was carrying, and I wasn't far behind. Twenty-three years old and I really thought 'thats all she wrote folks'. Never mind accidents or major illnesses like cancer taking me. Just one pregnancy gone awry.

Know what it took to convince a doctor of any sort that I was that sick?

The whites of my eyes went yellow.

Yep. I'm paler than usual from being sick, not looking healthy at all, and then I'm staring out at the world with yellow eyes.

One quick urine test and I was shipped off to the hospital PDQ ! Hepatitis they said. Stuck in my own little emergency room cubicle for a few hours until a bed became available upstairs. Stuck in Enterec Isolation (all body fluids monitored .. blood vials sealed and handled with care when leaving the room). Nurses coming in gowned from head to foot so that I only saw their eyes. Food trays, dishes, utensils were bagged when leaving my room. No visitors. The doctor coming in to say that they would have to abort the baby. Was a very scary time for me, all in all.

Then a doctor that specialized in liver diseases came to see me and told me he needed to do an ultrasound of my liver to see how badly damaged it was and go from there. The only problem was, the ultrasound didn't get done until the day I was being released. The IV they gave me got me feeling better. The yellow tinge to my eyes faded. Sure, I was feeling better, but now I'm afraid of the big bad world out there. I was safe and not feeling sick while I was in there. I wanted to stay there. But nope. No can do. I would find out what the ultrasound determined by my family doctor during my next visit.

So I called my father-in-law to please come get me. First thing I did was grab a glass of milk at his house. Yep. I had fallen in love with milk again while at the hospital and it had stayed down there. But it sure didn't outside of the hospital. Up it came. Within a couple days, I was back at the hospital emerg department. Stayed another week. My mom finally came down to see me while I was in that time.

And that's when I learned it wasn't Hepatitis. It was something that will give Hepatitis tests a positive result. The specialist said that my liver was normal and healthy and just tickety-boo. The ultrasound, by accident, showed gallstones in the bile duct.

Enter the surgeon. He says unless I get really really sick (wasn't I already? ... No, if you get like that again) he won't do surgery until after the baby is born. I would have to go on a special diet so I don't trigger another attack like that. No dairy products whatsoever. No fats. Just lean meat if I eat meat at all.

And so went the rest of my pregnancy. Certains smells made me nauseous. Stayed away from all dairy stuff. Except for a tiny bit in my tea lol. I took a leave of absense from work. And slowly gained back twenty out of the forty I lost.

I had three 'due dates'. (doctor couldn't make up his mind? lol) Mid-February ... early February ... end of January. My father-in-law had circled Valentines Day on his calendar. (this baby was going to be their first grandchild and they were both proud as peacocks lol)

When I went to bed on the Sunday, I had only been asleep a short time when I felt labor pains. Ohhhhhhhhhh cool. Grab my watch and trundled off to the living room to time them.

Hold it. Something isn't quite right. They varied in length and time between. Call the doctor's answering service, they called him, he called me back. False labor he says. You're not ready yet.

bummers

Go through Monday without a hitch. Until I went to bed. Then the false labor pains started again.

geeeeeeezzzzzzzzz

Now that was the week that we were getting new living room furniture being delivered Wednesday morning. My husband was going for a driving test with a trucking company for a job the same day (about a 2 hour drive from where we lived .. main office). The plan was, I would be home anyways when the new furniture was being delivered, and I could tell the men where to put it. 'And don't you dare try to move it yourself' I was admonished. lol

A new flavour of potato chip had just come out. Sour Cream and Bacon. At it was soooo good. Yep. On the Tuesday, I was craving those things and asked my husband to grab me some please. So while I was lying on the floor eating those chips and watching tv, my husband and his brother lifted the furniture over me as they took the old stuff outside. Hindsight being 20-20, that was probably a dumb move on my part to park myself where I did, but I trusted those two to not trip on me or drop something on me hahaha I was 24 and the world wasn't looking half bad by then. I had survived the previous summer after all.

Head off to bed about 11ish. Again with the false labor pains. Out to the living room I go and get into the swivel rocker that used to be my grandmothers. Figured I would just doze off there and spend the night.

I wasn't asleep very long when the labor pains changed. They were now coming in rhythm instead of erratic. Each one lasting slightly longer than the last and slightly closer together. Time them for a bit, then called the doctor's answering service, who called him, who called me. Get yourself over to the hospital he says.

So, I trundled down the hall to wake my husband and give him the good news.

What does he say??

"I just knew it would happen today of all days and you would wake me up at 3 in the morning."

He wasn't mad or upset. He just shook his head as he headed off to shower first. (he had a job interview to go to after all lol) Out the door we go. He stops at a coffee shop and grabs a coffee ... 'want one?' ...'Nooooo' as I stare at my watch faithfully lol

Gets me to the hospital, checks me in. Waits until I'm in the birthing room before he runs off. Stops at his mom's house to grab his sister .. whisks her away to our house to wait for the new furniture ... then heads out to the company he's hoping to get a job with.

By the time he gets back to the hospital (forgetting to get his sister and take her back home .. she ends up taking a cab), his wife has had her water broken by the doctor, an IV in her arm that induces labor (even though I already was in labor), an epidural in her back, fetal heart monitor strapped to her belly.

The baby had never dropped into position.

I'll spare you details, but when said wife complains she has to go to the bathroom and a nurse says "How you going to get there because I'm not carrying you?" triggers a check and sure enough, I'm fully dilated.

Puuuuuuuussssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Yep. Maybe by pushing, I could push the baby into position and out.

Fiddle and fool around doing that for a bit and there was no progress at all.

Then bells and whistles go off. Hospital staff spring into action. Check the fetal heart monitor.

Baby is in distress !!

Gurney shows up from out of nowhere and I'm wheeled down to an operating room. Eyes staring at me as I'm strapped down.

Give her a local or knock her out ? The anethetist opts to knock me out.

Count backwards says a pair of eyes.

I awake briefly in the recovery room. The attending nurse asks 'what did you have?'.

Don't know.

Check your wrist band she says. So I do.

Awwwwwww I had a boy. And promptly dozed off again.

Wake up in a hospital room upstairs. Husband comes to see me. A healthy baby boy he says. Weighed 8 lbs 2 ozs he says.

But

He has a hole in the roof of his mouth they'll have to fix.

My son was born at 2:59 p.m. and he was six hours old before I saw him for the first time. He was beautiful and pink and had dark eyes, that soon turned brown. Soon found out he didn't have any suction though. Not for his mothers milk. Not for a regular nippled bottle. Had to have a special nipple .. a lambs nipple they call it. A bit longer and a bigger hole for the milk to come out.

They said the cleft pallate was because the roof of the mouth closing is the last thing that happens during the first trimester. Everything else is done and formed by that point. And with me being so sick that third month, it impeded the roof of the mouth from being finished.

Sure. I felt guilty for that. Very. I knew before he was even born I would love him with all my heart and soul and I did that to him. So innocent, and yet he would have to have surgery before too long. (as it turned out, they wanted to schedule him the day of his first birthday and I said no, so he had surgery 5 days after his first b/day)

So, between the new furniture coming, a new job (yes, he got the job and started there 3 weeks later), and a new baby making his appearance, Wednesday, February 15th 1984, will go down in history and repeated time and again how I picked that day to have a baby. hahahaha

******************
Sorry I got so long winded with this. Just be glad I didn't put part two (or part three? lol) here too hahaha. But stay tuned lol

*******************

(for Dave, Snow, Spaceeagle, and Sue)

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