- Hurt by Johnny Cash
-
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
[Chorus:]
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
[Chorus:]
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way(Hurt by Johnny Cash)
I try to find some peace in my soul, while trying to quiet the turbulence in my mind.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Hurt - Johnny Cash
Silent Lucidity - Queensryche
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye
You're lying safe in bed
It was all a bad dream
Spinning in your head
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life
So here it is, another chance
Wide awake you face the day
Your dream is over... or has it just begun?
There's a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run through in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realize it and you were scared
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind
Commanding in another world
Suddenly you hear and see
This magic new dimension
Master of illusion, can you realize
Your dream's alive, you can be the guide but...
I - will be watching over you
I - am gonna help to see it through
I - will protect you in the night
I - am smiling next to you....
Body and Soul - Rick Astley
Do you ever feel like you are drowning?
Do you ever feel like you are going under fast?
Do you ever feel that you are wasted and you need a little confidence to pull you through?
Do you ever feel like you are losing?
Does it ever feel like you are fighting against the tide?
Do you ever feel like you are helpless and you need to find somebody who can show you the way?
You know that I'm always with you.
You know that I'm always by your side.
In Body and Soul.
Do you ever feel like you are running?
Do you ever feel like you hiding from the truth?
Do you ever feel like you have wasted all the precious time you have been given all your life?
You know that I'm always with you.
You know that I'm always by your side.
In Body and Soul. You may get so sad and weary.
But you're never going under, do you ever wonder why I'm always there for you?
Cuz I won't let them drag you down.
You know that I'm always with you.
You know that I'm always by your side. In Body and Soul ........
a song by Rick Astley (one of my favorites for the message it gave me when I needed to put words to my jumbled thoughts and feelings I'm sure I will be posting another old, and a new fav in the near future)
Eleanor Roosevelt
Rainbow Trail
Walk on a rainbow trail,
Walk on a rainbow song,
And all about you
Will be beauty.
There is a way out of
Every dark mist, over a rainbow trail.
Robert Motherwell
Dialogue With The Devil - Bruck Cockburn
staring at the splintered sun
you could drown yourself in jewels
like a thousand other fools
while you stand there looking down at what you've won.
sitting on a mountain of ashes
face to face with past regrets
you could roll down to the canyon
piss away this incarnation
but remember that you pay for what you get.
and he says "but don't you know
how hard it is
to hit the ground and mean it,
and mean it?"
walk the jangling streets of the city
trying to find the buried sun
you could drown yourself in jewels
like a thousand other fools
while you wander, waiting for it to be done.
and he cries "why don't we celebrate?
why don't we celebrate?
love can make you sad
come on, let's drive ourselves mad."
and he's aware
how hard it is
to kiss the sun and mean it,
and mean it.
and he screams "why don't we celebrate?
why don't we celebrate?
life can make you sad
come on, let's drive ourselves mad."
standing on a rock in a river
staring at the rain made one
on the surface flashing diamonds
rolling down the twilight canyon,
and we shall kiss the sun in spite of him
so why don't we celebrate?
why don't we celebrate? why don't we celebrate? ...
Flying Walenda
I like to think of myself as being curious about things and people, but I have been told "You're too nosy" hahaha. Welllllllllllllllllllllll maybe I go to the extreme sometimes.
Been on a bit of a curiosity quest lately. I find/found it hard to sit and ramble on about myself or my day or my kid and such in a blog. Somewhere along the line, I lost the confidence in myself that people might actually be interested enough to read it. Actually, the confidence thing goes back a long way. Long before 360's and such. People accused me of being too quiet. Watch out for the quiet ones they would say hahaha. And I would just sit there and go hmmmmmm when they said that.
One thing in this curiosity quest I have been doing is reading other peoples blogs. Those on my friends lists, maybe a few of your friends, but also the ones that Yahoo has on the home page as being 'interesting'. I must say I am amazed and a little envious that people can be so relaxed and open to talk about themselves like that.
Had just read one of Yahoo's 'interesting' blogs this morning, where this woman blogged about being a klutz. I chuckled and could relate to a couple parts of her blog. She talked about falling down the stairs. I call it my 'flying walenda' trick hahaha. My out-laws learned a few things about their outdoor stairs the hard way .. usually because I was lying in a heap at the bottom of them hahaha. And go figure, as much as I was pretty colourful at times (not the language colourful hahaha), I didn't break anything, other than maybe my pride.
The first time I fell down their stairs, they had just built this house and had moved in, about 18 years ago. It was a bungalo, but the basement was partially above ground, so the stairs outside to get to ground level had about 8 treads. It was Christmas. They were now living in the 'snowbelt' and had lots of snow. We had just had a good visit with family. It was dark when we were leaving. My son and his dad were sitting in the pick-up truck while I was still doing the good-bye, thanks for everything thing. My mother in-law bakes every year and puts together a goody basket for everyone to take home. She had it in a small rectangular aluminum pan that year with aluminum foil covering it.
Out the door I go.
Top of the stairs.
Take one step down, feet go out from under me, and didn't hit another step.
Yep.
Flat on my back in the small snow drift at the bottom of the stairs.
I look up at the stars. Then, as human nature will do, you look around to see if anybody had seen you fall, while hoping nobody did so as to not suffer the embarrassment. Right??
Wellllllllllllllllllll
My sons dad was looking out the truck window at me, shaking his head. (no, he didn't get out to see if I was alright or anything)
My mother in-law was standing at the door horrified, but unwilling to run out in her slippers and as she said "what can an old lady do?" But the sweetheart she is, she was upset I might have hurt myself and started yelling for someone to come rescue me. (great, more people to witness my frolic in the snow drift)
I did manage to pick myself up. Just not sure how lady-like I was doing it tho'. Winter coat, boots and all that fun stuff one puts on to keep from freezing. Picked up my purse, which I managed to zip close before leaving (and if you know me, you know I have a bad habit of not closing it) so everything stayed put.
Discussing my flying walenda trick a few days later, the one thing that seemed to have struck my mother in-law, my sons' dad, and myself? There I was, lying on my back in a snow drift at the bottom of the stairs, staring up at the stars, and in my hand, holding it up for protection ........ was the goody basket. I had fallen down those stairs and didn't lose a cookie, a square, a rumball, or anything else. And it wasn't like the aluminum foil covering the thing was taped shut or anything. But the cover stayed on as if it was. Hmmmmm guess I was meant to enjoy a rumball or two when I got home hahaha.
Wasn't my only trip down those stairs the "rather quickly" way over the years. They are wooden steps, so my father-in-law put on those rubber tread things to make them safer (after the first time I cleared them). And he was nice enough to not say 'for Patti's sake" hahaha. And each time I took a trip down those stairs the way they weren't intended, he would try to fix them somehow. And usually because it happened in winter, I suffered through the zingers of "shall I help you down the stairs?" "want me to walk out with you?". Ha Ha Ha Thanks anyways. Eventually I wasn't allowed to carry even my purse out the door so I had nothing to put me in harms way.
So, think I took about 4 flying walenda's down those stairs in the winter. And no, not the same winter hahahaha None any other time of year. And actually took time off my circus act for about 6 years.
Until about 3 years ago.
Yep.
Something inside me just had to do a flying walenda down those stairs again.
Totally unexpected. Totally unplanned.
It wasn't even winter !!!!!
It was summer !!
My father in-law had decided that the small deck and the stairs needed repainting. The poor guy never thought to put sand in the paint for the treads. Anything to not make them 'slippery when wet'.
Yep. You guessed it.
It was raining that day............